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Just one thought for this month, and I cannot find any references to this statement so that I can attribute it to the right person.
“You don't have to become a mechanic before you can drive a car. You don't need to be an electronics expert before you can operate a computer. You don't need to be a great philosopher to understand what life is all about - nor a great theologian to recognize the spark of divine inspiration that lies at the heart of nature. There's a lot that none of us really needs to think about. Make your heart happy and your head will soon follow suit.”
Happy November 2013.
What an unusual and somewhat difficult year. I hate to say it, but it is an unfortunate truth that we can allow ourselves to slip back into bad habits, self-defeating thoughts and surrounding ourselves with the wrong people. It is also a sad fact that dissatisfaction, anger, stress and frustration tend to be the driving force behind us when we actually make the changes we need to in order to move forward. It is our adversities that drive us to change what isn’t working right in our lives.
Having said all that, I have discovered a few tricks to help you move forward, change your life and reach your goals without having to be angry or unhappy while you are doing it. This month’s article is really long but worth reading. It is designed to help you turn your life around. It was also eye opening for me to find and re-read this article I wrote quite a while ago because, you see, I allowed myself to slip right back into the place I had been way back in 2002; and it wasn’t a good place to be.
The good news is, though, that by reminding ourselves that we must be ever vigilant to slipping back into old, self-defeating thoughts, or surrounding ourselves with negative (perhaps even abusive people) we can realize quickly what the problem is and take back control of our lives. You can live the life you want and I hope this month’s article helps you do just that.
by Linda Simmon
I decided to do this month’s article and to focus this newsletter on finding fulfillment and in doing so finding joy, calm, fun, happiness and all those emotions that just make you feel wonderful. I knew that this article would not be easy to write but I really did not quite fully appreciate just how difficult it would be until I started.
A few years ago I took a hard look at myself and where I was and what I was feeling and had been experiencing for several years and I realized that I wasn’t happy. This took me by surprise because I have always been by nature an optimistic and rather happy person. It made me wonder how I had gotten to this sad state and I had no idea how to “fix” it.
Since then I have reconnected with myself, I am again that optimistic person and I have a sense of fulfillment that I have never had before no matter how happy I thought I was. It has taken a few years, but I thought to myself so many people out there are searching for fulfillment I should be able to help them. Easier said than done.
I’ve thought and though about it and I’ve read and researched much about it and it is a subject that I cover in my workshops and during my sessions, but how to write this down and express it in a clear and concise manner has taken me much longer than I anticipated.
There are some basic precepts that hold true regarding our emotions and thoughts.
What we think is actually considered by the subconscious no matter how ridiculous or silly or stupid it may appear to be. If I say to you, "I don’t want to you to think about a pink elephant. No matter what you do, do not think about a pink elephant." What do you think of? Exactly, a pink elephant. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about what you do want rather than to think about what you don’t want. We too often think about all the things that we don’t want.
We also tend to say things to ourselves such as “I am such an idiot”, “I can’t do anything right”, “Why does everything bad always happen to me”, etc. These are actually orders given to your subconscious. You are basically telling your subconscious that this is who you are, what you life is like and how you feel. Say it often enough and it becomes a reality in your life.
What you focus on, what you see, is what you get. As an example, if you think about the color blue, you will start to see the color blue all the time. This also works for emotions, thoughts, ideas, beliefs. If you think about anger, that’s what you’ll see in your world. You will see the anger in all the people around you, you will feel it. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger, and this goes for hate, hurt, depression, anxiety, fear and sadness. But the same also holds true for fun, joy, happiness, fulfillment, love and excitement.
So, the bottom line really is that it is all about Cause and Effect. As you change your thoughts you change your world and your life.
But this is only one piece of the pie. Fulfillment is also about moving forward in your life and your world. Releasing negative emotions allows you to move forward. As we live our lives, we tend to carry around crap from our past. Just as with any weight, the longer you carry it the heavier it gets. It really does become important to release the garbage that you have been carrying around, release the negative emotions that are holding you back release the anger, hurt, fear and guilt that keep you from finding true fulfillment.
Another piece of this fulfillment pie and a really huge, double size piece is expecting that your happiness, your fulfillment your purpose is linked to someone or something or some event that is outside of yourself. This is different than having goals. Goals are good things, they keep you moving forward. Now, what I’m talking about is making your own happiness depending on what another person might do or say or what even might happen.
For example, “If only I could get that job I want, and then I know that I would be happy”. Or. "If I could get a date with that really beautiful girl, I know that would make me feel good about myself”. "If I had that car, or if I lived in that house or if I could take that trip or buy that dress or –" well you get the picture.
What would you love to accomplish, overcome, change, or create? What's wrong in your life presently? If you compare your vision of a totally Fulfilled life to your life right now, how do the two differ? What scares you, gives you that knot in your stomach, or causes you fear, anxiety, stress, and hopelessness? Are finances your biggest stress? Your health? Your weight? Your relationships? Depression? No matter what our obstacles are, we need to address them, overcome them, and find out why they hold you back.
Be extremely honest with yourself here. What obstacles popped into your head when you were trying to dream of that perfect life? Think what they were, and we'll come back to them in a minute.
This may seem a little unsympathetic, but your obstacles may be nothing more than excuses that you have created without realizing it.
I can almost hear you right now: "Yeah, but, you don't understand. I can't even begin to imagine my dreams, because ____________________ (fill in the blank with the "limit")". Or maybe you're saying, "That would be great. But I have four kids. I'm already working two jobs. There's no way around my obstacles."
I have felt and said the same types of things at many points in my life, especially when someone was trying to give helpful advice. As real and painful as my past obstacles were, I also know I have invented some pretty good excuses over the years that delayed my progress and evolution to a better one.
Now, I believe the greatest failure is letting an excuse stop me. You can't make a new life for yourself and have excuses at the same time. You have complete control of what an obstacle means and how you handle it. Say this phrase out loud: "If it is to be it is up to me." Do it one more time: "If it is to be it is up to me."
My life changed forever when I learned how to break through most, if not all, of my obstacles. Think of how amazing it would feel to have the skills and confidence to know that no matter what came up, you had a way to resolve it immediately. I wish I would have learned ten years ago that obstacles really are nothing more than excuses. Unfortunately, at that point I didn't have the tools to overcome them. Now, we both do.
Realize that obstacles may be right in front of you that you have just grown accustomed to. For example, maybe you finally just gave in to the fact that your boss would never give you a promotion, and that is now a part of your life; you accept the position, disappointment, and lack of fulfillment at work. In this case, what is your obstacle? Is it your boss? Is it that you are afraid to make a move? Is it your limiting beliefs holding you back? Is it your family because you feel you need to provide for them even if you sacrifice your life to them?
Do it? Is it your spouse, your education, your finances?
Really dig in deep, and be honest. Find your personal obstacles and whatever stops you from tearing them down to get what you deserve. Remember, there are no wrong answers.
Totally fulfilled people are responsible. They don't make excuses, they make
things happen and don't let things happen.
Someday I’ll pay off my credit cards. I haven’t stopped using the cards or started paying more than the minimum payment but someday they will magically be paid off.
Someday I'll meet the man of my dreams. And he will be exactly as I imagine him — perfect. He is a millionaire, is kind, never loses his temper, is handsome and over 6-feet tall, is a gourmet cook and wants nothing more than to make beautiful babies with me and snuggle by the fire. He will support me in whatever I want to do. (Right!)
Someday I'll win the lottery and I won't ever have to worry about money anymore. Of course, I need to buy a ticket first.
These may sound ridiculous when put on paper but admit it; we all have our own version of magical thinking.
What you really need to keep you moving forward are realistic, doable expectations, and the ability to keep a positive outlook, even if you do make a mistake or fail in some plan. As former First Lady Rosalynn Carter has said, "Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence."
Linda Simmon C.Ht.
With winter and the holidays just around the corner, it becomes even more important to take care of yourself. Building your immune system and getting the right food as well as regular exercise are both crucial. Here are a few suggestions to make it a bit easier, tasty and fun:
Live Longer with This Red Winter Stew.
Put the brakes on the ravages of time with a hearty and delicious bowl of chili.
You'll get plenty of zinc, thanks to the rich red kidney beans in the stew. And a new small study showed that zinc may help both prevent and reverse age-inducing damage to DNA. Zinc intake is so important to staying young that when middle-aged men in a study went from adequate zinc intake to zinc deficiency, they showed more breaks in certain DNA strands. And guess what happened when they were placed back on a zinc-rich diet? You got it -- damage to DNA strands decreased significantly, suggesting that injured strands were repaired. Check out these other nutrients the YOU Docs recommend for thwarting Alzheimer's disease.
You want healthy DNA, because damaged DNA can speed the aging process and increase your risk for conditions like cancer and Alzheimer's disease. Zinc isn't necessarily a fountain of youth, but the study results suggest that nearly 12 percent of Americans with a zinc deficiency may be doing their bodies a disservice.
So how about that bowl of chili?
- Eat This Fall Treat for Your Heart.
You probably have one on your porch right now. And your heart wants you to bring it inside and serve it up. We're talking about pumpkin. Canned or fresh, pumpkin is a superfood, according to the authors of SuperFoods HealthStyle. And this squash is especially good for your ticker because it's chock-full of carotenoids that are known to reduce heart disease risk. And that's not all, according to the book's authors, Steven G. Pratt, MD, and Kathy Matthews. Pumpkin is also a good source of potassium, magnesium, fiber, and antioxidant vitamins C and E. So don't think of this squash as merely a fall doorstep jazzer upper. Find out why pumpkin is good for your blood vessels, too.
Patty's Pumpkin Pudding
There are healthier ways to get your fill of pumpkin than by eating pumpkin pie — like this pumpkin pudding recipe from SuperFoods HealthStyle:
1/4 to 1/2 cup sugar
2 to 4 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger, optional
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves, optional
2 large eggs (the SuperFoods authors recommend eggs with extra omega-3s)
One 15-ounce can pure pumpkin
One 12-ounce can evaporated nonfat milk (or evaporated 2% milk)
Mix all the ingredients together and pour the mixture into an
8-by-8-inch casserole. Bake it in a preheated (350 degrees Fahrenheit) oven for about 30 minutes. Don't overbake; the center should be slightly wiggly. Cool and enjoy, or refrigerate for later use.
For all of you, but maybe even more for myself, in a gesture of gratitude, I am offering for the entire months of November and December, all sessions are half off.
If you decide that you’d like to have at least two sessions and book them at the same time, there will be an additional 10% discount for a total of 60% off two or more sessions.
Just contact me, now, with what kind of session you’d like and I’ll figure out what the cost would be, then decide.
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